I could access other people who felt about their own sex in the same way and they weren't abnormal, they weren't "Pansies" or "Benders" as I was told by contemporaries they were ordinary men, the kind of man I wanted to be. I never felt abused, although legally there was "abuse" going on I was engaged in acts of sex that I couldn't give my consent to, however I never felt at risk or vulnerable, or degraded. I came to terms with my sexuality at the age of 8 or there abouts.
it was access to what I had been wanting to happen for years previously, I mean YEARS. See that's an interesting point, following the first occasion, there were plenty of occasions when I could play with guys I chose to, or take things further if I wanted to. Some evenings I would go back for thirds. It didn't seem to bother any of the guys, I think it was because I was a 16 year old newbie with a big dick, I felt like a king. I became a fiend, I couldn't get enough.however i was determine that I would recieve but not give. It was so intense that i almost fainted, no kidding. I tapped and when the hand came through the hole (different restroom same library) I bent down and got the first BJ of my life. I took me about a month to make up my mind, but a month later i got up the courage to try again. For about a week I kept looking on different walls and realized that it wasn't an isolated experience.
It was as if my eyes were opened by that experience because after that I couldn't help but notice the explicit nature of the messages on every wall. I couldn't stop thinking about it as i walked home and my hormones were raging so i stopped in a gas station rest room and took care of myself. I waited there scared that he was going to get me when I came out so i stayed for maybe 15 more minutes. I think he go irritated when he realized that it was a kid so he got up and left. He asked me to suck it but i wasn't ready for that. All of a sudden the guy in the next stall gets on his knees and sticks his dick under the partition. I didn't know what to do but in the back of my mind began to get the idea. A little later i saw a hand reach beneath the partition and he gestured. I was reading when I noticed that a foot was tapping in the next stall. Short story.I had gone to the library to study and went to the restroom for a break. I don't condemn people for using public services such as those mentioned for sex, for many the option of meeting and making contact with people for sex isn't so easy, be it for family reasons or personal situations, or their job situations, there's a hundred and one reasons I am sure be fair, you don't know what their story is I never had much experience in "cottages" but seeing these two guys getting into each other, fuelled many wanks at the time I can tell you. Nothign more than that happened and as I had friends waiting for me I sorted myself out and left the toilets, but I was very turned on, as you can imagine for a 15 year old.
He was then manouvered backwards toward the WC and I saw two men facing each other in the next stall, both with their trousers down both with nice looking hard ons, (about 7+") they were playing with each others dicks. I thought it funny that he'd dropped his trousers so far as I never did, wanting not to sit on the seat- germs and everything! More curious- the town I lived in was very small with no gay scene to speak of and believe me I'd looked everywhere for it, I saw that there were two men in the stall, there was another pair of hands rubbing up and down the legs of the tanned guy. Being curious, I ducked my head about a little to see what else I could see and saw that this guy had his trousers pushed down to his ankles and had great legs, tanned and smooth, just my taste!. The guy in there had stood, and was stroking his butt, and leg, and it was the movement of his hand that caught my attention. Once seated in the stall, I saw to my left a large hole in the partition about 4 or 5 inches across, being the mid eighties in an inner city, I was pretty used to seeing vandalism and graffiti and put it down to that, but in the course of my "visit", I noticed that there was something "going on" to left. Feeling a little intimidated I went in the nearest empty stall, not wanting to get my dick out in front of all these guys some of which were hot! When I was 15 I first discovered guys seemingly not using a public toilet for a legitimate purpose.before that I have never twigged on to this small fact.